Disneyland!

Disneyland really is the happiest place on Earth! Or at least it's tied with Disney World! It was a perfect day for Disney yesterday and we weren't the only ones who thought so. The place was packed with people spending their spring break in this magical place. The crowds were a little much but they offered a lot in the way of people watching. We saw some interesting people.

The day started off in line for Space Mountain. It was a good move on our part because the wait was less than an hour but we were in front of a really obnoxious family. They kept yelling and bumping into us. Space Mountain was fun and a lot like Space Mountain in Disney World. Next stop was lunch. But only after taking a few picture of the castle. The castle in Disneyland is a lot smaller. I noticed on the map (We didn't actually have a map until the day was more than half way over) that it was sleeping beauty's castle while I think the one is Disney World is Cinderella's castle. We had lunch and then were off to find more rides to ride. We tried Pirates of the Caribbean but when we couldn't even find the end of the line we abandoned that idea for the time. We got in line for Splash Mountain. It was suppose to be a 2 hour wait but it think it would have been more like a 3 hour wait. During this wait we saw lots of intresting people. Starting with this lady in front of us wearing a leather jacket. Now I don't think it was a real leather jacket but it was hot out. It was around 85 degrees and we spent a good part of the line directly in the sun. She was not dressed apropriately for a water ride or a day at Disneyland. We also saw a lot of people wearing rompers. I'm not really sure why these are the style this season. The are a one piece short and shirt outfit and not attractive on anyone. At one point I saw a whole family sporting the look. A mom, and her 2 daughters all three wearing the romper. The line was long but had some entertainment. Luckily, about an hour and half into it, this lady stopped and asked if we wanted their fast passes. We weren't saying no to that so we hopped in the fast pass line and got on the ride much quicker. We were lucky enough to be in the front and I was in the very front of the log flume. I was soaked. I picked my purse up just in time before it got soaked like my right foot. I was so wet, I'm afraid you could see my underwear through my shorts. The next important stop was for Mickey Mouse ice cream. It was delish too.

One of the things I was really looking forward to on this trip to Disneyland was a picture with a character. I was a little disappointed because not many characters were to be found. When we first got there, we saw Mickey and Goofy. I know I should have wanted my picture with Mickey but come on. I wanted a princess. Then while in line for Space Mountain we saw Buzz Lightyear. I would've definitely gone for a pic with him. In Critter Corner we saw Pooh and Tigger but they've never been my favorites either. I left a little disappointed when no character could be found for my picture.

Next stop was the Haunted Mansion. The wait wasn't bad. It was a little scary at first when you seemed locked in a room that's moving and has a body suspended above you. Then you get on a carriage type ride and go through the house looking a ghosts and ghouls. I wasn't scared but there were a lot of crying children in there. I'm not sure what the point in taking your child on a scary ride is but there were plenty of parents there that didn't feel the same way. The Pirates of Caribbean ride line had finally calmed down and the wait was only about 15 minutes. I had been on the one in Disney World before the movies came out. This one was redone to feature Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. I'm not going to lie there were a couple of times I tried to get Katie to stop the boat so I could jump ship for some gold and Johnny.

It was time for a pick me up in the way of a churro and a diet coke. Now here is where Disneyland has Disney World beat. The churro. I'm fairly certain there are not churro stands all over the park in Disney World like there were in Disneyland. Katie got our churros and I got a fastpass for Thunder Mountain. The churro was soooo good. Cinnamon and crunchy and soft all at the same time. I'm pretty sure that's the only churro I've ever had that didn't come from Taco Bell. While waiting to be able to ride Thunder Mountain, we wandered into fantasyland through the castle. I tried to get someone to take our picture in front of the castle but had no luck. I kept my eyes open for a princess to get my picture made with but had no luck. I did convince Katie to ride the teacups and they were just as fun as I had remembered. There's something about spinning around faster and faster at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.

I really wanted to ride the Dumbo ride but the line was crazy long so I settled for the Matterhorn rollercoaster. It was a good one but kind of jerky. Our last ride for the day was Thunder Mountain. Now there is one of these at Disney World. I think that the only time we tried to ride it, it got shut down for some reason. It was definitely a good rollercoaster. It might've been my favorite one all day.

Our last stop for the day was of course the World of Disney gift shop for souvenirs for all my loved ones. Including Sophie, my unborn neice. She's definitely on her way to being spoiled already. I bought her two presents and had a I seen the books they had I might have bought her another. But every girl needs Minnie Mouse ears with her name on it.
All in all, it was a very magical day.
Disneyland where all your dreams come true!

California, California, Here I come!

I'm finally in California for spring break. I feel like I've been planning this trip forever and can't believe it's actually here. Of course I've only been here for maybe an hour and a half. I'm waiting at Katie's apartment for her to get home from class. Then I'll feel like my trip has really started.
My adventure started off with a bang this morning. or maybe I should say a shout. I was waiting in line to check in with the airline and get my boarding pass. They were forming two lines depending on where you were going: Denver or Chicago. Apparently this older man in front of me didn't realize that. He finally got up to the kiosk and started raising quite the fuss. He was yelling that these people who got there 30 minutes after him had already checked in and he was quite upset about it. The man assisting him tried to calm him down but it was not successful. Meanwhile, he was scaring this lady who had never flown before. She didn't want to get on teh plane with him. So the lady assissting her, started telling the older man he was going to be known as the mean old man and no one would want to fly with him. This didn't seem to calm him down either. But he went on his merry way with his boarding pass and we were all on the plane together later. Then when I was going to board the plane I got flagged for what I thought was extra security. I was taken behind this wall to what reminded me of a cubicle. I thought they were going to search my purse and backpack but no they just swabbed my hands for explosive residue. So I guess I look like I make bombs or something. It was weird.
Then the guy sitting next to me was some kind of special agent who had papers where he was escorting a prisoner. Now I never saw the prisoner. I'm just nosy and saw the note he had from teh pilot and the official documents. My nosiness also led me to read this email or text he had on his blackberry. The font was huge it was just inviting me to take a look. He was broken up with over email or text right before the flight attendants told him he had to put all electronic devices up. He was a very nervous guy after that. He played with his phone the rest of the time even though I think they were suppose to be off. Then when we landed he was on it so fast trying to get in contact with the woman. Or at least that's what I'm thinking he was doing.
My day was off to an adventurous start! Sunny California, I'm here and ready for some fun!

Spring Break is almost here!

I have three and a half days until I am on spring break. But I'm not counting or anything. I really hope I make it until then. My kids have spring fever big time and they are driving me crazy. The weather has not been conducive to taking them outside but it's looking better for the rest of the week. They are wild and crazy savages instead of sweet funny kindergartners. They've stopped listening and they've stopped doing what I tell them to do. It's enough to make a grown woman cry. But thankfully, a week from today I'll be on my way to sunny California to see my soulmate. I can't wait. I can't wait to spend the whole week with her and I can't wait for the sunshine and warm weather. I'm looking forward to some time at the pool laying in the sun reading books. I'm also very excited about going to a winery and Disneyland.
On Thursday I'll know if I am going to have a niece or a nephew and of course am going to buy them a present from Disneyland. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of the souvenirs I'll buy for my niece or nephew on my travels. I can't wait. Being an aunt is going to be awesome. Friday I had a girls night with the high school girls and we tie dyed. I bought onesies and everyone got to tie dye one for the baby. They turned out so cute and the girl thought of the baby as part of their family too. It was really cute and sweet. I love those girls. It's funny that they have become like my family. It is so hard to make friends as you get older but I'm lucky enough to get to hang out with a great group of youth every week.

Spirtual Vitamins

I have been feeling the winter blahs here lately. All the snow and gloom has made me feel down. Supposedly when we lack sunshine, we can develop a vitamin D deficiency that can affect our moods. I think I have been lacking vitamin D. I usually feel it when I have forgotten to take my vitamin or my eating habits have been lacking. I feel tired and cranky. My hair stops growing and all my nails break. I can tell I’m vitamin deficient. But what about our spiritual vitamins? Do we know when we are lacking in our relationship with God? Do we feel different when we aren’t reading and studying our Bible or talking to God on a regular basis?

If you had asked me five years ago where I saw my life going, this is not the destination I would’ve imagined for myself. Five years ago I was living in Nashville and I was just beginning to find my way on my spiritual journey again. I was teaching third grade and thought that was the grade level for me. Now, I’m living back in Gatlinburg teaching Kindergarten and very involved in church. It’s been quite a journey to get here. I usually tell people that I moved back to Gatlinburg because I wanted to be close to my family and I really felt like that was where I was suppose to be. But honestly I was running away. My uncle had been diagnosed with ALS two years before and his health was detoriating. The relationships in my family had been suffering as we watched his health decline. It was too much for me to handle anymore and I ran four hours away from all this pain. Right before school started, my uncle passed away. Even though I knew it was coming, it was still shocking and devasting. I proceeded to close myself off from all reminders of my life before. I began to really believe love was like other four letter words. I started to think that everyone you love leaves at some point. That loving means that you get hurt. So I closed myself off to all possibilities of love. Not just boy girl love but any kind of love. I had a hard time relating to my students. They noticed that I didn’t smile enough and thought that meant I didn’t love them. I didn’t return phone calls from my friends from college or my life in Nashville. I wasn’t in contact with my extended family either. I buried myself in church. I started volunteering with the youth and children ministries hoping that I could forget about my own pain when I was helping others. But even as I was burying myself in church I wasn’t getting my spiritual vitamins. With all the walls I had put up, I was shutting God out as well. I wasn’t developing a real relationship with God because I didn’t trust him fully. It took a mission trip with the high school youth for me to realize this.

It was on this trip that I started to see the walls I had put up. This group didn’t let me keep my walls up. Even though I didn’t know many of the youth well, they forced me to see some things about myself. By seeing how they were interacting with each other and expected me to interact with them, I had to make some changes. It happened in a very interesting way. During a very heated game of catchphrase, boys against girls, I got angry. The buzzer had gone off me at least two times in a row and the third time was the final straw. I slammed the game down and stormed out. Real mature, I know. But I came right back in and kept playing. I realized that being upset about a game and showing it was ok. The kids like to refer to this as the time Kerri hulked out. They had never seen that much emotion from me. After I got home from this trip, I felt like a different person. I realized that I had been going through the motions of being a Christian and that was all. I was blah in my Christianity and my spiritual vitamins had been lacking.

In John 15:1-8, Jesus talks about this difference in our lives when we have our spiritual vitamins.

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ³ You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. ⁴ Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

⁵ “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. ⁷ But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! ⁸ When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.

I was a branch severed from the vine and unable to produce fruit. Even though I considered myself a Christian and was attending church, I wasn’t trusting that I was a branch in God. There are still times that I am away from God and lacking in my spiritual vitamins, but I am more aware of it now. I know that to bear fruit, I need to be in relationship with God. I need to be reading my Bible regularly and talking to God everyday. I need to be spending time with the youth who help keep in check with my spiritual vitamins.

To really be a branch, I have to constantly be stretching myself and forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I can not be complacent and go through the motions. I was telling one of the girls in the youth that I was going to be speaking here this morning. She asked me if this was something I wanted to do. Honestly, speaking in front of people is not where I want to be. But I felt like I had no choice that I had to do this. By speaking here, I had to examine my own Christian journey. We can have life away from Jesus and God, but we have much more full and abundant lives though him. We produce much fruit when we are walking with God.

Are your spiritual vitamins depleted? Are you going through the motions but not really feeling it? Find where God is calling you and you’ll find your spiritual vitamins. For me, I feel strongly that I’m called to be a support person, to help with youth and work with girls. These are the places where I get challenged the most and find myself having to trust more in God.

Yesterday was the first day of spring. The sun has been shining and we can get our vitamin D from the sun if we get out it. In the same way we can get our spiritual vitamins from the son, Jesus. Just like you have to make an effort to get vitamin d, you have to make the effort to get your spiritual vitamins. Spend some time in the son today.

Nerves

So this Sunday I'm "preaching" at a small church. I say "preaching" as opposed to preaching because I do not consider myself a preacher. I don't even consider myself a speaker. I'm just trying this out. I feel strongly that I need to do things that stretch myself and challenge myself. Speaking in front of people about God is one of those things. I'm so nervous about it though. I feel like whatever I have to say is stupid and my ideas are not coherent. I've asked several friends to help me with it but in the end it's something I have to rely on God to help me through. And I think that is part of the challenge. I don't like to do things I'm not good at and I don't like to be bad at things I'm doing. But I'm not a great speaker. I teach Kindergarten and get tongue tied doing that sometimes. I like talking to small kids and that's about it. But I know this is something God is calling me to try out. So I'll try it out on Sunday and try not to throw up in the process.

Random Friday

I think my experience on match.com has come full circle. I received an email yesterday from the first guy that I talked to on match.com. He was the one who asked if I was interested in taking a lover. He then emailed me to see if I wanted to get together in which I very nicely responded "no, i think we're interested in different things." Apparently, he thinks I might have changed my mind. Or if I haven't changed my mind a second email will do the trick. The email said "still looking yor hot". No punctuation or correct spelling. I definitely haven't changed my mind. Still not looking to take a lover and a second email with bad grammar and punctuation will not change my mind. I am emailing a new guy who manages some shoe store in the mall. I'm trying to be open minded because he's used to when he means too repeatedly in his emails. I'm trying to not let that be a deal breaker, but it's difficult for this teacher to overlook.
I'm pretty excited about girls' night tonight. I have a fantastic meal planned. Two different homemade pizzas and homemade ice cream sandwiches. The first pizza is going to be a chicken bacon ranch with ranch dressing instead of tomato sauce. The second is going to be a mexican pizza with salsa instead of tomato sauce. Then thin chocolate wafer cookies with either coffee ice cream or chocolate ice cream in between them. I'm looking forward to it. I'm trying out fasting for lent on Fridays. I can't fast completely but I've had only liquids so far today. I'm fasting until sundown and then I can eat. So I'm going to enjoy the pizza and dessert big time. I'm also excited about tonight because we haven't met in a long time and there are going to be some new friends and old friends there. It should be a good night.
Tomorrow my mom, sister and I are going to shop for maternity clothes for my sister. I'm very excited. She's so cute as she's getting into her second trimester.
Lots of randomness today. :)

Glitter

I have this girls ministry that I've started at our church. Some of the youth girls and I get together about once a month to just hang out and have fun. We eat, watch a movie, usually do a devotion and then a craft. The idea has developed over the past year into something really great. I love to be crafty and just planned a craft as an after thought the first time. Since then, the craft is a must. I think it might be the best part. The craft usually ties into the devotion somehow and it is a great opportunity to be creative. A lot of our crafts have involved sparkly things. We decorated boxes in the summer with words and other things. Mine was all blinged out. I'm fairly certain I said something along the lines of as I get older, I like sparkles more and more. As soon as I said it, I told the girls to forget that I ever said that. Of course they haven't. They remind me of it all the time. In fact one of the girls saved a quote for me. "Glitter is the herpes of the arts and crafts world." I loved it and it is so true. Friday is the February girls night. We haven't had one since December so I'm really looking forward to it. Plus we're starting a new series on relationships, dating, and sex. So it should be interesting. Hopefully we can all be open and honest and really learn something. I learn stuff from them all the time. They are great reminder of what kind of woman I want to be. We are also doing a really cool craft, mosaics. I began the idea with wanting to do a real tile mosaic. But the more I got into the idea, I realized it was time consuming and expensive. I'm hoping that this summer at our retreat we can do a real tile mosaic because I'm really into the idea. Of course, I'm always looking for new ways to express my creativity. I'll have to settle this week with paper mosaics. I did an example and it turned out pretty good. So I'm excited to see what the girls do with it. They always come up with creative ways to carry out the idea that I have. That's what I love about these times. It gives everyone an outlet for whatever they are feeling. Being creative is great way to show what's going on inside you and to express your relationship with God. Sometimes finding the words is hard, but through arts and crafts we can always express ourselves.

¹⁶ Give glory to the LORD your God
before he brings the darkness,
before your feet stumble
on the darkening hills.
You hope for light,
but he will turn it to thick darkness
and change it to deep gloom.

Jeremiah 13:16

Are you winking at enough guys?

The statement "are you winking at enough guys?" got me into loads of trouble the past few weeks. Josh said this to me as I was deciding to give up on dating through match.com. The next day I got winked at by a guy and I returned the wink. This lead to me and the guy we'll name the possessor to start dating. It was too much too fast. We went out three times in one week. The week before Valentine's Day no less. So on the second date, he bought me an expensive bracelet and took me to Best Buy to look at Sony Readers as a future present. On the third date, I made him dinner for Valentine's Day and he brought me a stuffed Monkey. It was on this date I knew I was going to break his heart. He liked me way more than I liked him. He wanted to know where I was and what I was doing at all times. If I didn't start my day off talking to him, he thought something was wrong. And he had serious issues with the other people in my life. He wanted to know all about Josh and I's relationship. Which I told him we worked on youth stuff together. He also didn't seem to like that Katie was soulmate. I'm sorry guys but it's the truth. She's my soulmate and you're just someone to have fun with. The possessor was sweet and I really did try to make it work. But on the fourth date, he got a little impatient with me because I was running a few minutes late. Then he gave me the third degree about the youth movie night I was going to the next night. The last straw was when he sent me a text not even 5 minutes after parting that said thought about you. I know I'm a girl I should like this stuff. But I don't. I'm super independent and the idea of marriage scares me. It is way too soon to be talking the "M" word before you've been dating for a while. I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for dating. I have one more month on Match.com and I guess I'll keep trying. But after my month is up, there is a good chance I'm done with it all for a while. I'm sure that there is a guy out there who is nice but not too nice. Who is interested in me but doesn't make his whole life about me. Someone who knows that I have a lot going on and these things are important to me. But until then, I always have my soulmate Katie and all my other friends and the youth. I'm pretty sure I'd rather go cosmic bowling or to an ice bears game with them instead of an awkward date. That might just sum it all up for me.

Namaste

So in efforts to get in shape and eat better, I've tried yoga. It started last week as a workout dvd that I did with my friend Sarah. It was yoga for abs. And it was killer. My abs hurt so bad the next day. Saturday, I was feeling kind of restless and I remembered I had a 15 minute yoga dvd. I had bought this over a year ago and it was still in the wrapper. I did the total body workout and discovered this was something I could enjoy. I'm not sure what it was that appealed to me. The movements weren't too difficult and I felt pretty good when I finished. So my new goal is to try to do 15 minutes of yoga to start my day. So far I've done it 2 days in a row. I've been searching for something to do for Lent. Last year I gave something up and the year before I added something. I really enjoyed adding something and felt like I got more out of it. So I think I'm going to try yoga with meditation. The idea being that I would spend a few minutes in quiet with God. The end of the yoga workout has the opportunity to center yourself. Centering myself on God seems like a logical step. So we'll see. I'm sure it won't be easy but that's not the point of Lent.
Maybe I can learn some breathing techniques to help get me through my day. It is quite the Monday. I just took a student to the office because he's so defiant. The next step is paddling and I just don't know how I feel about that. It tends to upset me more than the student. So here's to learning good ways to deal with stress.
Namaste

Midweek Blues

Today we had to be at school right on time. It was so hard after a snow day Friday and 2 hours late Monday and Tuesday. I drank too much caffeine last night at youth and didn't fall asleep til like 2:30. So I'm tired and I think in turn a little cranky. I'm trying not to be but it is hard.
Nothing good or new on the dating front. The rocker and I are suppose to hang out tomorrow but I don't really want to anymore. I tried talking to him about what was important to me but he didn't get it. I'm hoping that he's lost interest since I haven't heard from him since Monday. Luckily even if I do, a youth thing came up so I have to do that.
I'm beginning to make some generalizations about men now that I've been doing this online dating thing for a month and a half. The first one is 28 is a good age for 38 year old men to find attractive. I've been winked at and contacted by mostly 38 year old me. I personally think that is too old. 35 is my limit and even that seems a little too old. The second is that men use online dating as a numbers game. The more girls they wink at the better chance they have to getting one to respond. 3. They believe that when they email a girl 3 times and she hasn't responded to it doesn't mean she isn't interested. When in fact it does mean she isn't interested. 4. Just because they email you doesn't mean they are really interested. If you mention church, they realize they probably aren't going to get sex and don't send you a second email.
I've talked to quite a few 33 year olds and I've drawn some conclusions about them. 1. They are starting to focus on their bodies again. They work out obsessively and worry about food. 2. The seem to be interested in girl on girl action. Could be all guys and at 33 they decided to actually put it out there. 3. They use different words for things than I'm use to. They use slang that I no longer hear people saying. I could give an example but it is way inappropriate. Could be that I'm just use to teenagers. 4. They actually seem to believe in treating women a certain way. They hold doors open and give really good compliments.
These are all just generalizations and mean nothing but this is what I've learned from online dating. I'm fairly certain it is not for me but I still have a month and a half on match.com. I'm also fairly certain dating in general isn't for me. Not sure how I'm going to find someone to marry and have babies with though. Maybe I'll just skip the husband and adopt.
Now that I've sat down and thought about the things I've learned, the midweek blues have definitely set in. Good thing I have kindergarteners and teenagers to make me feel better.

SCF seeking SCM and accepting no substitutes

This weekend I had the opportunity to participate in a young adult event. The speaker and band were amazing and it was just what I needed. The weekend before was Resurrection and it was all about the youth. This weekend was for me. The seeds were planted the weekend of Resurrection. I needed to be thinking about what in my life was holy and what wasn't. This weekend it really hit me that I wasn't living life the way I should be. I was letting things come in between me and God. I am his and he has claimed me. But I haven't been living like that. I've been living of the world. Here I am trying to find someone to date. There's nothing wrong with that but I've become obsessed with it. I've been talking to this guy who I like. He's sweet and cute but he doesn't get it. He doesn't get that the most important thing in my life is my relationship with God. He thinks I'm too busy and don't have time for dating. I realized that even though this guy makes me feel good about myself, he isn't the right one for me to be dating. There is someone out there who gets it. Someone who has a relationship with God and will recognize it is the most important relationship we have. If I'm not focused on that relationship, no other relationship will be healthy. It isn't easy to break off those relationships that aren't healthy. I'm the queen of unhealthy relationships. But I know this feeling of being lost will only go away once I give myself to God again.
I have to trust that God will send me the right someone and that I don't have to settle for the wrong one or the convenient one. People do not change that much. I can't change anyone or make them have a relationship with God. I realized this weekend that there is a big difference between saying you believe in God and living it. There are lots of guys and girls out there who consider themselves Christian but don't have a real relationship with God. I'm a single Christian Girl seeking a Single Christian man who has a relationship with God. I can't accept any substitutes.

Yesterday I got an email from a gentleman on Match.com who owns his own business. Yet his email had no punctuation other than periods and didn't use any pronouns. It literally said "name (and whatever his name was. I've forgotten already.)" Instead of saying he was interested in me he just used the word interested period. Maybe I'm a snob, I don't know. But if you don't use punctuation, capital letters, or pronouns I'm not going to respond. It could be that I'm a teacher and grammatical errors drive me crazy. I can't even text without using punctuation. This email is suppose to make me interested. It is suppose to entice me to respond and want to get to know you better. Shouldn't you make it your best effort? I tell my kindergarteners all the time they need to do their personal best (or as one child said personal breast). I have to expect the same out of the guys I date. Then that could be why I'm still single and don't have the best luck with dating.
So I'm talking to the Rocker again. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I liked talking to him and then we went on the date and it was way awkward. As I've been talking to him more, I think he's being more himself. It is possible in an effort to best his best foot forward, he was trying to hard and it scared me off. I know. How can you win with me? I just said that a guy should do his personal best when dating me and then penalized one for trying too hard. There's a balance that has to be found between the best version of yourself and still being yourself. These profiles on match.com are suppose to make people interested in you. They should be the best qualities that you possess. But that kind of sets you up for failure. Your flaws are overlooked and hidden and then they pop out unexpectedly. I can't really be with the perfect guy. I need someone who makes mistakes and cusses every once in a while. I think guys read my profile and see a Christian girl who teaches kindergarten. They think that means I don't ever make mistakes or cuss or do anything bad ever. Not true. I screw up all the time. So what I'm learning is it is really hard to present yourself on these sites and basically everyone just goes with looks anyway. Even if they say the don't.

baking and dating

So I finished up my sourdough bread experiment yesterday. Overall I think it was successful and I feel an enormous amount of accomplishment. I made that bread from scratch completely. Starter and all. It doesn't look as pretty as I would have hoped but it tastes good. The reviews have been good for those I've shared it with at school. I'm pretty proud of myself for successfully making bread. I'm not sure what my next cooking adventure will be. I'm thinking maybe homemade pasta or gnocci next.
I haven't heard anything from the dad since I emailed him last. He told me to find him on facebook and I haven't. So maybe that is the key. I did hear from the rocker last night and we're making tentative plans to hang out next weekend. I'm not really sure how I feel about him. I'm not sure we have much in common but the first date was so awkward maybe a second will be better. I don't really have anything to lose. And even better yet, he'll be in Gatlinburg so I won't have to travel. I was thinking about match.com last night. I think I've been winked at, at least 40 times but I've only had contact with maybe 5 guys and from that only 2 guys I've been on dates with. I'm not sure what that says about the success. Of course I've only been doing this for about a month and everyone says you should give it about 3 months. So I'll continue to put myself out there and see what happens. At least life isn't boring.

Is is holy?

What an amazing weekend! I had the best time this past weekend at Resurrection with our youth. We took 18 kids which is a record high in the past three years. The biggest issue was where to put them all when it came time for bed. The speaker Justin Lookadoo was amazing. He had a great message that appealed to all the kids. His biggest question he asked was Is it Holy? It gave me a lot to think about when it comes to my own behaviors. Am I being holy? He also shared his experiences with being a foster parent. His point was to talk about God's love for us but I related to it on a different level. I've been thinking for a while about becoming a foster parent and it was great to hear his and his wife's story. It hasn't been all smiles but they have gotten so much out of it. After the last session on Sunday, I waited in line to tell him how much I enjoyed his message. I was so impressed when he gave me a hug and asked how things were going. He had remembered me from earlier in the week when he came to our youth group. I think that was amazing when I didn't really talk to him that night and he had met so many people. Our youth weren't always the best behaved but they behaved when it counted. They were all attentive to the message and answered the call to get back right in their relationships with God. I'm so proud of each of them for coming on this trip and loved the opportunity to meet some new kids. I'm looking forward to this coming weekend when we go to Divine Rhythm with college kids and young adults. It's my turn to be filled up.
I was thinking Saturday night about how much God has been doing in my life. This was my third resurrection and it was so different from the first. I have changed and grown so much in my relationship with God. I am a lot closer to God and I feel like I have a greater knowledge about spiritual things. I also have become so much more involved in the conference. It was nice to have friends that I've made this past year there and to see them. I've been really trying to discern what God is calling me to do. I feel like I'm being called into full time ministry. I just haven't figured out what that means. Part of me feels like maybe I'm in full time ministry as it is being a teacher at the local elementary school. I have the opportunity to do things that I wouldn't have if I didn't work here. God is so amazing and I'm so excited to see what he has in store for me.

Challenges

There is something that I just love about making something from scratch. You have nothing and then you've created something as a labor of love. That's how I felt about the Chocolate Mousse Caramel Tart. It was difficult to make and took a long time. But I felt so good making it and got a lot of satisfaction out doing something challenging. I'm afraid I overcooked the sugar when making the caramel. I also think I got too impatient and folded the chocolate in before it was ready. But over I was satisfied with the result for my first try. I did discover I was better at piping things using a zip lock bag with the end snipped than a pastry bag with a tip. I'm pretty excited about my sourdough bread starter I've been working on. I thought it wasn't working very well but after doing a little research, I discovered it was going well. I can't wait to bake some homemade bread on Sunday afternoon. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my eyes open long enough on Sunday after the busy weekend to make it.
So I'm emailing a new guy from match.com. He's a dad. I think that I'm ok with that. His son is almost 5 and I love that age. We'll see if it actually goes anywhere. But I am going to keep trying to put myself out there. It isn't easy to put myself out there. I am unsure about how dating works and if I really like dating. There is part of me that is relived that I have a lot going on this weekend and next weekend. That means I get a break from the awkwardness of dating. I just get to spend the weekend with 20 teenagers. Should be fun!

You wrestled a crocodile?

So this coming weekend in Resurrection, a large youth function in Gatlinburg sponsored by the Holston Conference of United Methodist Church. This will be my third year taking a group and I am so excited. We are taking at least 14 kids which is the largest group we've taken so far. The most amazing thing happened yesterday. Josh, our youth director, somehow wrangled the speaker for Resurrection to come speak to our group. It was awesome! He's 6'7" and makes Josh look like a small guy. He's hilarious but has such a great message about the amazing things God does. I'm so thrilled about this weekend and the possibilities. The experience is sure to be life changing for some of the youth were taking. The past two years I've been really proud of the groups we've taken. They don't cause a lot of trouble. They listen to the speaker and are into it the whole time. I'm sure this year will be much of the same. I can't wait to see what God is going to do this weekend. Please be in prayer for all the kids from around the area that are going to be there and the leaders that are taking them. I know I'm going to need some prayer.

But ummm . . .

I was watching my favorite sitcom How I met Your Mother yesterday and it had this whole drinking game around one of the characters saying but umm and it's been stuck in my head ever since. Silly, I know.
My date with the rocker was a little rocky. It started out he was going to be 15 minutes late and I was right on time. Then the plan was to watch the UT game at a bar. Well the place turned out to not have a tv so we had to relocate. We ended up at the chop house which is a good date place. The nice guy took me there on our first date. The actual date was really awkward. I'm not sure that we have a lot in common and we had very little to talk about. We met at about 7:50 and I was at home by 9:21 and there was about a 20 minute drive to get home. I'm not sure I'll see him again and that will be ok. Back to match.com to find another match. I haven't given up hope yet. At least I'm getting some entertainment.
I finished the book The Gospel According to Sydney Welles. It wasn't a deep and meaningful book or anything like that. Just a pink book as I call them. I noticed that all those chick lit type books where there is love and career battling it out, the career never comes first. In fact, in a lot of those books the women quit their jobs and find something else to do. It's kind of weird if you ask me. Why is it that we think it has to be love or a career? Can't you have both? I'm starting to sound a bit like Carrie Bradshaw. Too much Sex and the City watching. Anyway, I've moved on to the sequel to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which is called The Girl who Played with Fire. So far it is intriguing. I think it will be a good read. My only complaint is the chapters are really long. I hate to stop reading in the middle of a chapter. So when chapters are long, I can't read a chapter and then go to bed quickly.
My attempt at making a sourdough bread starter is not off to a good start. It rose some the first day but my house has been too cold for anything to happen since then. I'm not really sure what to do. I can't find a warm place to put it and it isn't doing anything. Oh well, I'll keep working at it.

Love and Rock N Roll

So tonight I'm suppose to meet the rocker. I'm a little nervous about this like I would be before any date. I'm never sure what to wear and I'm never sure how it's going to go. Maybe it's because I don't date a lot. I've been on more dates in this month than I went on last year. We're suppose to watch the UT game at a bar/restaurant. Should I wear something orange for UT? Do I wear what I had on for work today? It is too many decisions. Then my next worry is what if I don't really recognize him. I've seen a picture but what if I can't remember what he looks like or he didn't actually put a picture of himself on there. This is tough stuff to worry about. I'm not sure that I really like dating. It's fun to meet someone new and there are lots of possibilities but then there is the stress of figuring out if they are going to call again or if you even want them to call again. Then if they do what happens next. I want a boyfriend so I guess that I have to date to have one.
I'll be sure to let you know what happens on this exciting date.
Hopefully it will be at least entertaining. I have a plan in case things don't go well or I need someone to intervene. Luckily a friend and her boyfriend live really close and they are on alert for a 911 text if needed.

Becoming domestic

I didn't have an exciting weekend. In fact I had a rather dull weekend, where I spent a lot of time becoming domestic. I baked challah bread and discovered I need new baking pans. The recipe was really easy to follow from Annie Eats and the result looked great. My only problem was my baking sheet burned the bottom of the bread. As long as you don't eat the bottom part. But this endeavor got me thinking about making bread in general. So I consulted my favorite all purpose cookbook, The Joy of Cooking and did some reading on bread. My next bread making challenge is going to be sourdough bread. I made the starter yesterday. My biggest problem seems to be that it isn't warm enough in my house. I need to do a little research to figure out what to do about that.
The next baking challenge I'm facing is the Chocolate Caramel Tart from Annie Eats blog. I plan on trying this one out today. Of course I'm going to have the challenge of figureing out who will eat it. I"m thinking the youth will be a good crowd to ty it out on. And I do have my top secret #1 taste tester.
My other domestic task this weekend was finishing my blanket. I'm pretty proud of it. It isn't perfect and I definitely messed up quite a bit at first but I finished it. It's only my second blanket of that size and a pattern I had trouble mastering. I'm ready to start a baby blanket for my new neice or nephew but since I don't know the gender I need to wait. So my next project is going to be a teal fuzzy lumberjack hat. I'm looking forward to making it even though I have no desire to wear one.

I have a new interest from match.com. He seems nice maybe a little too smooth but in an entertaining way. He was a drummer in a rock band that toured for 7 years which is pretty interesting. So at least it has potential for a good story. We'll see. I still haven't given up all hope on the nice guy. He has potential for long term that I'm not sure rocker boy does. But in the way the world works rockers win out over nice for interesting dates. So we'll see what happens.

Blahs!

So today I have a case of the blahs. It could be that I had to actually get up and be at school on time today and I slept horribly last night. I just feel blah. I have no plans for the upcoming long weekend and I'm a little bummed out about that. No potential for a date or even any friends to hang out with. My plans include finishing my blanket I'm crocheting, finishing the book The Gospel According to Sydney Welles, and making Challah bread. Exciting stuff, huh? I kept hoping that maybe the nice guy would've gotten his stuff together and we'd go out again but no word on that yet. I have found yet another recipe from Annie Eats that I want to try a chocolate Mousse and Caramel Tart. Just sounds so yummy! But with no one to make it for, I guess I won't be trying it this weekend. I'm having a hard time fitting in my jeans so I don't need to be eating that alone. I probably should add exercise to list of things I plan to do this weekend. I have every intention of starting to walk/run soon. I did do an exercise video on Sunday. It was a three mile power walk with Leslie someone. It was pretty good except for the fact that my lungs hurt for two days after it. I'm still suffering from inflammation in my lungs from before Christmas when I went to the ER. So now that I'm recovered for the time being I should probably attempt that video again.
Anyway, nothing exciting or entertaining going on today. Just a case of the blahs! Hopefully I will be over it before the weekend is over. I should have pictures and a report on how the blanket looks and how the challah bread was.

"I don't own a uterus!"

So I didn't intend on writing something everyday. I thought this would be something I would do once a week. It turns out I have a lot more to say than just once a week.
Last night at youth, the conversation turned to babies and led to the title of this blog. "I don't own a uterus." The youth director said he didn't own a uterus which was why he couldn't have a baby. But apparently I do own a uterus. I don't really think of my uterus as something I own. It is more just a part of me. It got me thinking about back in the day when Men "owned" their wives and the wife's job was to produce a heir. I bet those men thought they owned their wives' uteruses. I',m thinking any man who thinks he owns my uterus should think again. If anyone was to own my uterus, it would be me.
I'm getting into this whole cooking and trying new recipes. I was looking at the blog Annie Eats (http://annies-eats.com/) yesterday and found a recipe of Challah bread. I fully intend on trying to make it this weekend. I don't know who will be eating it though. It looks like the nice guy I met and I aren't actually going to see each other again anytime soon. I just don't get it. He seemed interested and continues to text me. He just doesn't seem to have time for me. And I've had enough of guys who don't have time for me. My life is full of guys who don't have time for me because I'm not as important as all the other women in their lives. No more of that for me. So I guess I'm back to trying to find someone on match.com. I'm not sure I've even been contacted by anyone else that looks promising. Maybe I'm too picky but I don't plan on changing now. 28 is not a good age to change. I'm set in my ways. I like what I like. Anyway, I'll be sure to let you know how the challah turns out. It looks like it'll be good and the recipe doesn't look that hard.
I started a new book the other day. It is called The Gospel According to Sydney Welles by Susi Rajah. It's typical light read with a romantic story but then it has a the twists of emails from Sydney to God. She's an agnostic who's been assigned to promote the Catholic church. So far it's got me hooked. I needed a little bit of a light read after reading the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and before reading the sequel, The Girl Who Played with Fire. I never have a shortage of things to read. I would be willing to bet I have no less than 40 books sitting on the table by my dresser waiting to be read. If only there were more hours in the day.
Still haven't been a full day of school since Christmas break. Today we were an hour late which is closer to a full day. It has definitely made getting up for school easier since I've gotten to ease into it. The day I have to be here at regular time is going to be rough. It has been nice getting up not to early and still having time to get ready in the morning, read my Bible, and get a chore or two done. Oh well. There is bound to be more snow soon and the whole process will start over. Until then I'll just try to teach my kids their letters, words, and some kind of math skill. It's been hard to get anything done with the shortened days.
Until tomorrow. Maybe I'll have some exciting news to report on the dating front. It's doubtful anything fantastic will happen but I can always hope for entertaining. Hot tub, anyone?

Finally back at school

So today we finally went back to school. We were two hours late but at least we went. I really don't want to go to school in the middle of June. Plus I was ready to see my sweet Kindergarteners. They were glad to be back. That's the great thing about Kindergarten. They love going to school. They enjoy learning new things and listening to stories. It makes life as a teacher great.
I finished Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson. It's a great mystery and thriller if you like that sort of thing. It was originally written in Swedish and has been translated into English. That makes some parts of it a little difficult to read but it was a fascinating story. I would highly recommend it.

I thought I would post the recipes for the foods I talked about in my last post.
Cashew Chicken
Ingredients:

• Chicken Breast


• 1 can of Golden Mushroom Soup


• 3 tbs soy sauce


• 1 package of frozen stir fry veggies


• 1/2 cup of Cashews

Directions:
Place all the ingredients in a crock pot. Cook on high for about 4 hours. Cook on low for 7 hours.
Serve over rice. Egg rolls go well with this recipe too. I'm partial to the Chung's Frozen ones.
Chocolate Truffles

(See the picture above)

This was my first time making these and it was so easy. Who would have thought some decadent, elegant dessert could be easy to make.
Ingredients:

• 4 oz of semisweet chocolate


• 1/4 cup of butter


• 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream


• Heath bits

Instructions:
Place the chocolate and butter in a bowl. Place the bowl over a saucepan of boiling water. This creates a double boiler. Be sure that the water doesn't touch the bowl. Melt the butter and chocolate together. Stirring as it melts. Take off heat once it's mostly melted. Add the heavy cream and mix well. Place in the refridgerator for about 8 hours or until hardened.
I used a melon baller to scoop the chocolate out. Use your hands to form into balls. The heat from your hands melts the chocolate. It is very messy and looks kind of gross but it's fun. Roll the chocolate balls into the heath bits that you've poured out on wax paper.
Store in the fridge. Bring out about 2 hours before serving.

I plan to try the truffles out on the nice guy I met through match.com. I'm hoping that it's true what they say about the way to man's heart is through his stomach. I'm also planning a delicious meal of balsamic chicken with brown butter ravioli. We'll see how that works out. If it turns out I'll be sure to post those recipes as well.

The most exciting thing to happen in this whole snow day debacle and returning to school is getting to see the ultrasound of my sister's baby. It was pretty exciting to hear the heartbeat of my niece or nephew. I'm so excited about being an auntie, it's almost ridiculous. But whatever, I'll be a great auntie.

5 Snow Days and Counting

After two weeks off school for winter break, we haven't returned for a full day yet. We've had 5 snow days in the past week and half and the two days we went to school we didn't go the full day. I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. I enjoy my time off but I'm missing my little ones. They are funny and sweet. Going to work gives structure to my day and my life. I have watched 2 full seasons of Friends, 2 Elvis movies, and other random shows on tv. I have worked on crocheting a blanket. I have made cashew chicken and chocolate truffles. I have read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I am ready to return to work. It could be that I don't have internet access at my house that is contributing to my stir craziness. I can't surf the web for random things to entertain myself with. I also can't check match.com for any new matches. I decided to try online dating about 2 weeks ago and I've already met some interesting characters. Some nice ones but the majority of them have one thing on thier minds. HOT TUBS! I'm fairly certain if you mention wanting to spend time in a hot tub before I've even met you or better yet tell me that hot tubbing is a hobby, we're not going to meet. Hot tubs = sleazey. Maybe I've just watched too many episodes of the Real World that involve sleazey happenings in a hot tub. I'm trying to be optimistic and put myself out there. It isn't easy but at least it's pretty entertaining.
I'm starting this blog as a place to write about the random things in my life. It might not be entertaining to anyone else. But I need something to use my brain on. So check back for more. I hope to include pictures of my projects I'm working on, recipes that I've tried, and funny stories from my kids and attempt at dating.